Nostalgia

Quote | Posted on January 22 by Fhurria

Since the past few days, I have been thinking of my governess and her immaculate taste in music. Go back to Lata Mangeshkar tracks from the 80’s and 90’s.

She was this strange woman with a determination stronger than a diamond but still so gentle. I have yet to meet someone as kind as her.

She was strict but not the kind that would raise her voice.

Unki aik nazar hi kaafi hoti thi. If we (me and my brother) ever did something that did not meet her standards of how a person should conduct themselves, she would just sort of stand up, toss her braided hair around and raise her head up like Queen Victoria making a face at her butler for adding too much salt in her soup, and walk away.

Just like that!

The most intense version of the silent treatment the world has ever known.

Oh god and it felt neverending sometimes. What made it even worse was this crippling pressure to figure out what we did wrong and fix it. Otherwise, there was no maafi. She was not going to talk to us. No sifarish from my mother was going to break her resolve to discipline us. Almost as dramatic as Jaya Bachan going, “bas keh diya na!” or Akbari going, “Ap se poori tamana hai ke aap apne rawaiye pe ghaur-o-fikr karain ge aur hamain mazeed mayoos nahin karain ge.”

Only, she said all this without using words. With her peculiar body language that now makes me feel like I was in a silent black and white film.

Also, that’s how she actually talked.

I am not kidding.

She referred to herself as “hum” instead of “main.” Matlab the woman, perpetually lived in a Perveen Shakir poem. Urdu adab ke greatest characters ko bhi peeche chor daiti theen kabhi kabhi.

Unbelievable, I know.

Always poised, no matter what. Dunya idhar se udhar hojaye, her hair was never ever out of place.

She was an absolute romantic … the kind that loved hand writing letters and the smell of rose petals in antique books.

She had these long self care rituals that she’d teach me.

I am yet to reach that level of devotion to my hair.

Kya baat thi unki.

She was a strong believer of going with the flow but more importantly, acceptance, you know. The iss khudaayi main aik tu kya hai type of acceptance.

Of whatever came and went.

That’s some way to live!

Don’t fully agree with it but to each their own.

Nevertheless.

Best wishes for her!